Questions to Ask Yourself


What does it mean to "be a boy" or "be a girl"?

In our journey to discover what we wanted for our kids and what we stood for, we asked ourselves many questions. These questions helped us understand our own biases and further our thinking about gender.

We don't have all the right answers and are continuing in our own path to understanding gender biases and how to best support our kids.

But take a minute to ask yourself these questions - what do you think? 

Be true to yourself, this is hard and not easy, so take your time and explore.

1. What is my gut reaction when my son wants to wear a dress or when my daughter wants to dress up as Batman? Why do I feel this way? What am I worried about? What do I think will happen? What implications do I think it has for who they are?

2. What am I comfortable with my kids wearing and doing? Is it okay if my son dresses up as a princess? Is it okay for him to play tea party? Is it okay if my daughter never wants to wear a dress? Or if she doesn't want to play with dolls?

3. If I'm okay with my son wearing a tutu at home, am I okay with him wearing one to school? Why? 

4. How would I feel if my daughter wanted to cut her hair short, only wear blue, green, and black, and got mistaken for a boy? 

5. If my daughter wants to dress up like a superhero, does she have to be Wonder Woman or Supergirl? If my son wears a hair clip, does it have to have dinosaurs on it so people still think he's a boy? 

6. When a girl wants to dress "like a boy" or do "boy things" it seems more socially acceptable than when a boy likes to dress "like a girl" and do "girl things." Why is that?